Author Archives: Patrick Scott Barnes

About Patrick Scott Barnes

Most of Central Florida knows Stone Crazy (Patrick Scott Barnes) as a poet. Yet, he also photographs, DJ and blogs. The rest of the time, he's guzzling booze in a Central Florida bar.

Booty Pics Requests (a poem)

My first decade as a nightlife photographer? Had to beg women to pose for booty pics. Things done changed. “I want my booty in the picture.” How the hell do they know to ask me for a booty pic? Don’t … Continue reading

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Van Halen’s No Brown M&Ms Contract: The Truth

I first heard the story back in 9th grade. A female classmate was talking about rock group Van Halen. The group always demanded a bowl of M&Ms backstage. Then, the brown ones were to be removed. Also, according to the … Continue reading

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Photo and Poetry Book Three Orlando Nightspots is Now an eBook!

Finally, the photo and poetry book Three Orlando Nightspots is now available as an eBook. For $2.99, you can download it from Amazon. Just click here. Also, for $10.18, the book version is available. Just click here. Here’s three sample … Continue reading

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Double Whammy (a poem)

Life pretty much sucks for me right now. My mom died. Suffered a stroke. Was placed on life support. Hospital told younger brother and me to pull the plug. Said mom was not coming back. Family members begged brother and … Continue reading

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Good News: An Ex-Dickhead Boss Got Fired!

Last night, after driving around Orlando, I decided to head to the closest opened Wal-Mart. The reason? I needed to use the restroom.  According to Google, the closest opened Wal-Mart happened to be the store that hired me back in … Continue reading

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How My Deceased Mother Guided Me to a New Car

For those that don’t know, my mom passed away last year. After she died, I somewhat inherited her car, a 2000 Saturn. I didn’t have my own car at the time. So, during both her last days in the hospital … Continue reading

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Selling Seven More Copies of Three Orlando Nightspots Books

Last Sunday night, I drove to Orlando’s Hideaway Bar. There I planned to meet my buddy Colin, a dude who wanted to buy a copy of my book Three Orlando Nightspots. He bought one for him and a friend. I … Continue reading

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