Miss You’re-So-Vain (an anti-romance poem)

 You’re so vain.
Bet you think this poem is about you.
Know you think this poem is about you.
 
Still got looks that kill.
Dudes still crazy over you.
Dudes still wanting your extra time and your kiss.
Dudes still finding you simply irresistible.
Yep, your milkshake still brings all the boys to the yard.
 
You’re so vain.
Bet you think this poem is about you.
Know you think this poem is about you.
 
Folks don’t know you like I do.
Dated other dudes behind my back.
Did this while saying you love me.
Didn’t think I’d find out about the out-of-town artist guy,
did you?
Oh yes, I heard about it through the grapevine.
 
You’re so vain.
Bet you think this poem is about you.
Know you think this about is about you.
 
Heard you currently have someone else fooled.
Got his nose wide-opened.
Was told dude said for you
he will stand up next to a mountain
and chop it down with the edge of his hand.
Your purple haze has really put a spell on this voodoo child.
When he finally gets wise and dumps you,
are you going stalk him like you used to stalk me?
 
Bet you think this poem is about you.
Know you think this poem is about you.
Why?
Because you’re so vain.
You’re so vain.
 

My apologies to Carly Simon.

Painting: Girl Straightening Her Hair by Magnus Enckel

About Patrick Scott Barnes

Most of Central Florida knows Stone Crazy (Patrick Scott Barnes) as a poet. Yet, he also photographs, DJ and blogs. The rest of the time, the now sober blogger guzzles Diet Coke in Central Florida nightspots.
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