Placing Booty Before Personality


I can’t help it. I just want to squeeze her booty.

Her booty always runs through my mind. She owns a round and thick booty.  Booty cheeks bigger than a handful.

I feel guilty about my booty obsession. Why? She appears to be a nice woman.  Yet, I placed her booty before her personality.

Feminists reading this will throw a fit.

“Is that how you rate women?  By the size of their butts? You sexist asshole!”

They would be right. Instead of the current century, I belong in the last century.  My booty obsession forces me further and further behind times.

Something about her booty forces me to act like a damned fool. Can’t help it. I’m a rump chump.

Supposedly, both of our horoscope signs match. Yet, what if she turns out to be a psychopath?  Could be a future stalker for all I know. She could be stalking my Facebook page right now.

Like a drug addict, my hands are itching and twitching.  I want to place both hands on both booty cheeks and squeeze away.

What do I do about my booty obsession? You don’t confess booty obsession to a woman. Last time I did that, the object of an infamous booty poem wouldn’t talk to me for ten years.

Should I try getting to know the woman better? That would be faking.  Being nice just to get a squeeze. On a date, I wouldn’t care about her career plans. Wouldn’t care about what kind of movies she likes. Wouldn’t care about what kind of music she likes, either. Only thing I would care about? Squeezing the booty. Would be asking myself do I get a squeeze tonight? Or do I have to wait?

Like I mentioned earlier, I feel guilty placing booty before personality.  Yet, I can’t help it. I just want to squeeze her booty.

Photo credit: Buyalex.

About Patrick Scott Barnes

Most of Central Florida knows Stone Crazy (Patrick Scott Barnes) as a poet. Yet, he also photographs, DJ and blogs. The rest of the time, the now sober blogger guzzles Diet Coke in Central Florida nightspots.
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