Three Tips for a Fuckin’ Calmer Life

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After reading many self-help books over the years, I found these following three tips useful. I’m not promising a stress-free life. Yet, I do guarantee the following tips will make your life calmer.

1. Avoid toxic people as much as possible. I don’t care who they are. They could be life-long friends, relatives, etc. If you can, boot their toxic ass out of your life.

With me, it’s always folks mistaking my kindness for weakness. I understand. I’m one of those nice people. I’m always one of those folks helping others. Yet, when idiots take advantage of me too many times, Nice Person turns into Fuck You Person.

Other times, it’s people mouthing disrespectful stuff at me. I don’t know. I guess I’m supposed to stand there and tolerate it.

Then, here’s the killer. When you confront the person, they never acknowledge the pain they cause you and other people. Let them tell it, the problem isn’t them. The problem is you.

You don’t have time for this shit. These people must go. They can run your blood pressure sky high. Also, their behavior may push you into a deep depression. You might even start questioning your own sanity. I know this because I experienced these same things plenty of times. That’s why I eventually get rid of the person.

Once you boot their ass out of your life, make sure they stay gone. I experienced the next scenario too many times also. You decide to be nice and forgive. Yet, the person never forgives how you reacted to their bullshit. Remember, they never ever acknowledge the pain they cause you and other people. Still, here they are feigning hurt because of how you reacted to their foolishness.

Maybe, admitting wrong hurts their fragile ego. Fuck that. I guess their ego is more important than your friendship with them.  That’s how it is with these types. It’s always about them and fuck everyone else.

Boot toxic people out of your life and hope you never have to deal with them again.

2. Realize shit happens. Let’s say you schedule a poetry reading with a bar venue’s entertainment person. You think everything is going swell. You tell all of your friends and followers. Also, you tell other poets. You post the date on Social Media.

Yet, the day of the event, you receive a phone call from the entertainment person. You are told they forgot a band was booked on the same night as your event.

Now, you have to accommodate for the band. They are to perform first. Things of this nature rarely works out properly. The opening act always goes beyond the time they agreed to, pushing your event further back.

Then, because they have to work tomorrow morning, some of your friends and followers leave. Even some poets leave.

And you can’t do a damned thing about this whole situation.

Here’s another frustrating incident. You always take great care of your car. You always change the oil on time. Plus you routinely check other parts of your automobile.

Still, out of the blue, the fucking car breaks down, anyway. Plus to get it fixed, it’s going to cost you two paychecks.

You did everything to prevent a costly breakdown. Yet, the damned car breaks down and robs your wallet or purse anyway.

What do both incidents have in common? These were things you had no control over. No matter how prepared you were, both happened anyway.

Frustrating? Yep. Still, avoid blaming yourself. Blaming yourself stresses you out even worse. Plus too much stress is known to cause health problems. Instead of blaming yourself, realize shit happens.

3. Avoid people who attract trouble. True enough, some things you can’t help. Shit happens. Still, like road kill attracts buzzards, some folks attract trouble. Don’t think it’s just bad luck, either.

For example, I worked with someone who claimed the manager picked on them. Yet, after watching the person’s actions, I understood the manager’s behavior towards them. The person always called in sick. Also, they started conflicts with the other associates.

Imagine me stepping my silly ass in the middle of that trouble. I may have earned the manager’s scorn too.

Now, picture this scenario. You give a group of friends a ride. You think nothing of it. You reach the destination.

But the next you know, one of the backseat idiots is concealing a pistol under his shirt. Yep, that happened to me. Nothing bad occurred. Still, imagine a cop finding out Sir Stupid was concealing a gun..in my car. That could’ve landed me in jail.

If I remember it correctly, Sir Stupid “vacationed” in jail before.Now, he was in my car concealing a pistol.

Years later, one of those same friends wound up being killed by gunfire. Part of it had something to do with being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

This is why you avoid people who attract trouble. Their trouble affects you too. Plus they never learn.

A friend of mine was busted for driving a commercial truck without a license.  After being booted from trucking, that same person was busted for transporting prostitutes. Plus this was the same person who previously served seven years for drug possession.

When I found out he was dealing with prostitutes,  I distanced myself from the guy. Before he got busted, he asked me to drive prostitutes around. Hanging around this man might have earned me years in the slammer too. As you can see, the motherfucker will never learn.

For folks like this, bad luck is rarely the problem. They’re own behavior attracts trouble. For your own safety and peace of mind, stay the fuck away from people who attract trouble.

When it comes to making life less stressful, these are the tips I fall on. Maybe, you know some things I didn’t mention.

photo credit: Victoria Dixon Wirral Images via photopin (license)

About Patrick Scott Barnes

Most of Central Florida knows Stone Crazy (Patrick Scott Barnes) as a poet. Yet, he also photographs, DJ and blogs. The rest of the time, he's guzzling booze in a Central Florida bar.
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